


The Miracle of Dry Cleaning

by technicolortidepods



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Morning After
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 18:39:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17065043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/technicolortidepods/pseuds/technicolortidepods
Summary: When Vex’ahlia woke up, there were three things that she noticed immediately.First, was her hangover.Second, she was completely naked, tangled up in red satin sheets in a bed that wasn’t hers.And third, she was almost definitely late for work.





	The Miracle of Dry Cleaning

When Vex’ahlia woke up, there were three things that she noticed immediately.

First, was her hangover.

Second, she was completely naked, tangled up in red satin sheets in a bed that wasn’t hers.

And third, she was almost definitely late for work.

_ Shit _ , Vex said to herself, throwing the sheets off herself and scrambling out of the bed.  _ Shit shit shit _ . She had picked up some extra shifts waitressing in order to pull together a bit more cash, which had been enough of a hassle to get in the first place. Missing them would be sure to land her in some hot water. She began to search for her clothes and phone around the unfamiliar room as thoroughly as her haste and relative silence would allow.

Her phone was under the bed, in the pocket of her leather jacket.  _ 10:26 _ , the screen read, and Vex let out a sigh of relief. The situation was less dire than she thought. Her shift began at 12:00 which meant that by 11:30 she should be at the diner wearing full uniform and a too wide smile. So, she had about an hour to pop a couple of Advil, scrub off as much of last night as a quick shower would permit, knock back a generous amount of coffee, and hit the road. Totally doable. 

Now that she was breathing a little easier, Vex took her time to assess the situation around her. The bedroom was certainly bigger than her own, that was for sure, and completely empty. The walls were covered in maroon and silver patterned wallpaper, completely devoid of any decoration except for a large, somewhat abstract painting of the moon that hung above a queen sized bed. Clothes, some of which Vex recognized as her own, were strewn about a gray rug. Curtains were drawn to reveal a view of the cluttered city skyline through the window that overlooked a paperwork covered desk. Through the closed door, Vex heard the faint sound of running water. 

_ Good _ , she thought,  _ she’s occupied _ .  _ That makes things so much easier _ . Vex had had enough experience on both ends of the walk of shame to know that the less interaction, the better. Nothing was worse than the awkward small talk that followed a night of drunken sex with a stranger. Or in this case, a stranger turned arch nemesis, turned somewhat cordial acquaintance who happened to be roommates with her close friend’s boyfriend. Complicated relations aside, the game plan was still the same. Clothes, then phone, then keys, then getting the hell out. Occasionally taking a little trinket for the road if looks like it might sell for a pretty penny and wouldn't be missed. On rare occasions, sending a short “last night was fun, thanks” text if it was worth it. But always making a swift and surgical exit. 

Vex dug around in the sheets, finding her panties and stepping into them unceremoniously. Her bra was on the floor, near a lacy black top that was definitely hers and a slip of a burgundy cocktail dress that definitely wasn’t. She threw both on and began to scan the room for her pants. Those, however, proved to be much harder to find. She checked under the bed, under the desk, going so far as to strip the bed of its sheets before throwing them back on with a huff of frustration. They were nowhere to be found. 

After double checking and triple checking the entire bedroom with no success, the clock on Vex’s phone read 10:37. Usually, she would be out and on her way back to the humble apartment she shared with her brother by now. Not stranded pantsless in a bedroom that somehow manages to be utterly ostentatious and minimalistic at the same time. Gods, even Percival was more subtle than this. Probably. Actually, had Percy been back here last night he most definitely would have commented on the sophisticated interior design and brilliant color pallet, or whatever pretentious vocabulary rich people insisted on using to describe the simplest things.    

Vex took a deep, huffy breathe and exhaled through her nose. She had two options. The first was the ever humiliating, wearing her shirt as a skirt, zipping up her leather jacket with nothing underneath, and leaving sans bottoms option. And the second was the maybe even more humiliating, swallowing of her pride and asking for something to wear option. Stealing wouldn’t work, someone so anal and detail oriented as to own an entire wardrobe of clothing in the exact same shades of red, gray, and black would certainly notice if something went missing. Option one would be a completely viable way to go if not for the broad daylight, chilly weather, and the fact that the entire back of the shirt was a patchwork of flimsy, practically see-through lace. Vex was not one to be overly concerned with propriety, but flashing panty to perfect strangers seemed rather uncouth, even for her.  

With a deep sigh, Vex gathered her courage, stepped out of the bedroom and knocked pointedly on the bathroom door. 

“Zahra?” She called through the closed door. The sound of running water had stopped. _ Oh, what perfect timing. _ “Are you there?”  

“Just a minute, dear.” replied an awful, silky voice. Vex stiffened, leaning back against the wall, busing herself with her phone. She had a text from Vax letting her know he had fed Trinket and thanking her for letting him borrow her motorcycle to take to work, despite Vex having no recollection of ever doing so. Another from Keyleth apologizing profusely for something unclear and demanding to know everything that happened that night, and one more from Scanlan informing her that she was getting his “sloppy seconds” and reminding her of the time he and Zahra spent “braiding each other’s hair”. She snorted, opting to ignore his messages. It sounded like a bullshit story if Vex had ever heard one. 

True to her word, the bathroom door opened directly after the clock changed numbers. 

_ Really, though, _ Vex thought somewhat bitter and somewhat in awe,  _ It’s completely unnecessary to look so damn put together directly after a post sex shower. _

Even with sopping wet hair and not an ounce of makeup, Zahra was just as frustratingly breathtaking as ever. She was clad in a silky, dark red robe that cut off mid thigh and had a deep v-neck, giving Vex a tantalizing view of flawless dark skin. Her hair, which was dyed an ethereal shade of pale silver, darkened to a shade of cool steel with the water saturation. It was up in a high ponytail that accentuated her elegant bone structure much too well. She was looking at Vex with a mix of curiosity and amusement. 

“You look good.” Zahra told her, looking over Vex’s bare legs with her eyes. She sounded more than a little pleased with herself. 

Vex exhaled through her nose once again, resisting the urge to slap or kiss away the stupid, smug smile on her face.  _ Get your damned pants and get out _ , she told herself.

“What did you do with my pants?” Vex asked sharply. She didn’t mean for it to come out as harsh as it did, honestly. But she had a time limit here, and the entire situation was humiliating enough without the fact that she was asking her one night stand for a pair of fucking trousers.

Zahra raised a perfect eyebrow in confusion. 

“The olive green ones with the studs and the nice cuffs at the bottom.” She clarified, realizing how ridiculous she probably sounded. “Where did you put them?” 

“I… Do you not remember, dear?” Zahra began slowly, “You spilt your wine all over them last night; they had to be sent out to be dry cleaned right way. It’s a miracle the place was open so late on a weekday, really.”

Oh.  _ Ohhh _ . Now Vex remembered. 

She had been sitting at the kitchen island of Zahra and Kash’s place, sipping a glass of red wine, already a few drinks in. Keyleth (who was much more than a few drinks in, if Vex remembered correctly) had been attempting a rain dance of some sort when she knocked into her, causing Vex to spill the contents of her drink all over the pants in question. Zahra, comparatively sober due to her duties as a hostess, ushered Vex into her room and helped her change, rushing the ruined pants to a dry cleaning place in the neighborhood. In the interim, most everyone had left for the night, except for Grog, who was passed out and snoring on the sofa, and Keyleth, who was blubbering into Kashaw’s arms about how this was all her fault or something or other. By the time Zahra had made her way back to the bedroom, Vex had relieved herself of her top article of clothing too, and greeted her with a messy, drunk kiss as thanks. Things had escalated from there.

Vex felt her cheeks flush a little at the memory. “Ah, yes, I remember now,” she said, feigning a business like demeanor somewhat. “Thank you very much for that, by the way.”

Zahra’s smug smile returned, but the expression was a little more fond this time. “Of course, Vex’ahlia,” she replied, noticing the blush on Vex’s cheeks. “It was my pleasure.”

Vex caught the fleeting way her eyebrow twitched suggestively, and hated the part of herself that went giddy at the sight of it. However, she succeeded to keep her expression cool and relatively unreadable.

_ Cheeky bitch,  _ she thought inwardly, but didn’t really mean it. 

“Anyhow, you’re free to borrow something of mine to make your leave in, provided you return it.” Zahra continued, back to her usual smooth tone of voice, effectively filling the part of conversation left open ended. Vex was inwardly quite thankful for the woman’s unrelenting hospitality. How Zahra could be so accommodating and composed given such less than ideal circumstances was a mystery to Vex. She often prided herself on her charisma and social adaptability, but Zahra exuded an unparalleled aura of charm and grace. It was almost she actually enjoyed spending time with people. Either that or she had some experience in handling midnight trysts that bled into the morning.   

Vex ignored an unusual wave of possessiveness at the thought of the woman tangled in red satin sheets with a faceless stranger and followed Zahra back to her bedroom. On instinct, she felt through her pockets, making sure her phone and keys were in securely tucked away. A analog clock on the desk that was so minimalistic in its design it was nearly impossible to read struck 10:40.

“Any preferences?” Zahra asked, opening her closet with a little performative flourish and beginning to rummage around. “I’m afraid I would never own anything as horrendous as cargo pants, so you might be a bit out of your comfort zone.”

Vex snorted in spite of herself. “First of all, I will have you know I only own one pair of cargo pants and they’ve been out of rotation ever since Trinket bit a hole in them. And second of all, considering everything in your wardrobe is either red or monochromatic, I don’t believe you are in any such position to give me fashion advice.” Vex teased back, momentarily dropping the facade of clipped formality. Gods, Zahra was an infuriatingly easy person to talk to sometimes. Even, well, especially considering how complicated their little situation was.

Zahra turned around to face her, mouth agape with mock appall. “Red? Don’t be crass, dear. This is  _ oxblood _ , not red.” She informed her in a prissy, disapproving voice, holding up a blazer top the same color as her robe. There was a playful sparkle in her pale gray eyes. 

“Oh, yes, yes, of course. Darling, do forgive me.” Vex said back with the same dramatic flair. “I seem to have forgotten myself, my sincerest apologies.” She watched as Zahra let out an impossibly melodious little laugh and turned back to the closet. Vex couldn’t help but giggle in away that could only be described as embarrassingly girlish. Falling into their old patterns of light banter and gentle prodding came much too naturally. As much as Vex wanted to hold her ground and remain perfectly distant and brusque, there was something irritatingly infectious about Zahra’s good natured air. It was quite inconvenient, really.

After a minute more of searching, Zahra handed Vex a pair of nicely folded black denim pants. They were washed nicely pressed, without any rips or holes or embroidered patches. Very unlike all the pairs Vex had back at home.

“Be honest, is this the most casual thing you own?” Vex asked her, raising an eyebrow. If the rest of Zahra’s wardrobe was any indication, even that boring pair of jeans probably cost more than Vex earned in a day. 

Zahra just shrugged, watching Vex step into the pants. “Not all of us dress like a punk rock lumberjack tart, you know.” She said with a thin, flighty smile, laughing when she saw the exaggerated look of offense on Vex’s face.

“Oh, really?” Vex replied as she stepped forward, encroaching on Zahra’s space just enough for her to recognize the challenge in her words.”That’s rich, coming from someone who manages to look like a secondary school principal and a trophy wife at the same time.”

Zahra stood her ground, looking her up and down in way that made Vex feel like a piece of meat. Suddenly, Zahra captured her gaze, and tilted her head down just enough that if Vex wanted to, she could close the space and the woman on her obnoxious, full lips. She tried her hardest not to stare at the woman’s cleavage, which was near impossible in that gods forsaken robe.

“Your fly’s undone.” Zahra whispered in her stupid, silky voice, before pulling away with a laugh as Vex cursed under her breath and finished buttoning her pants. 

An expectant silence hung in the air for a moment before Zahra asked, “Are you in a rush to get anywhere?”

“Work.” Vex said with an eye roll, giving up on salvaging the tone of impartial professionalism she had tried so hard to cultivate not ten minutes ago. “I picked up some extra shifts waiting tables for money’s sake, but I hadn’t anticipated how much of a pain in arse actually having to work weekends would be. Especially with a hangover.” 

“I see,” Zahra replied, nodding in understanding. “Well then, I won’t hold you here any longer.” She began busying herself with the clothing strewn about the floor, folding it up and returning it to the closet. Vex could have sworn she caught a note of disappointment in her voice before she added, casual as ever: “I think Kash made a pot of coffee before he left for his hospital shift, so feel free to help yourself if he hasn’t taken the whole damn thing with him. I can show you out afterwards.”

“Oh, lovely, thank you.” Vex said, a little taken aback. Everything about this morning was unexpected. The missing pants, that damned silk bathrobe, the little flash of dismay in Zahra’s pale gray eyes at the knowledge she couldn’t stay for longer. But what caught Vex off guard the most was okay she was with all this. 

Vex was a solitary individual. She had honed her sense of self preservation until it became a ruthless tool. She could take care of herself and do what she had to do to get by without a second glance at anyone else. There was no place for unnecessary interaction or emotionality in the lifestyle she built for herself. And sure, it wasn’t the healthiest emotionally, but it had gotten her through enough shit in the past for her to trust the process.

But nowhere in the process was there room to let herself pour a disposable cup full of someone else’s lukewarm coffee. Or let the same person pay for her dry cleaning. Or let lend her a pair of catalog caliber denim pants. Months ago, gestures like this would have sent Vex’s non-committal arse running for the hills. But, as Zahra held her cup while she put back on her strappy black heels, she felt no sense of panic of ill-ease at all. 

 

“Thank you again, Zahra, for everything.” Vex said as she took back her coffee, looking down at her a little. The fact that Zahra, in all her statuesque glory, still managed to have a few inches on her never ceased to irk Vex, who considered her own five feet and eight inches of height to be quite tall, thank you very much. In her heels, however, Vex was finally able to look down into pale gray eyes that clashed beautifully against almost ebony skin. “You were very… hospitable.”

Zahra smiled at her. “I would hope so, my dear,” she said in that silky, playful voice. “I aim to please.” Her eyebrows quirked up suggestively again and Vex couldn’t help but give a little inward laugh.

_ Always have to be the most charming one in the room, don’t you, Z. _

“You’re going to be alright getting home?” Zahra asked, leaning against the wall of the entranceway. 

“I’ll be fine,” Vex replied. “It’s only a few blocks away. Getting to work, that’s another matter entirely. Vax taking my motorbike means that I’ll most likely have to take the bus and pay for whatever damage repairs he’s done to it.”

“You did say he could borrow it last night.” Zahra pointed out, still with a smile. 

“Oh, it’s not like I meant it!” Vex defended herself. “I was drunk off my arse, I’m sure I said and did a lot of things last night that I didn’t mean. He’s really got not right to hold me to any of that.” 

“Hopefully not everything.” Zahra replied. Her voice was softer now and missing that teasing lilt. She was still wearing a smile, but there was a hesitation in her expression Vex didn’t pick up on right away. She instantly felt a little guilty for letting her mouth run before her mind could catch up. 

“Not everything, you’re right,” she reassured her. “Some things that I was very… present for. There were a few things in particular I can recall doing that I certainly meant.” Vex let herself drop into that low voiced, flirty persona she used when trying to haggle a better price with Sherri, the cashier at Gilmore’s or persuade Percy to fix something on her motorbike free of charge. The success rate varied, but Vex swore she noticed a faint russet tinge to Zahra’s skin. 

“I’m… very glad to hear that, darling.” Zahra said back, matching Vex’s soft volume and tone. She was smiling with slightly parted lips, drawing her gaze up and down over Vex’s face. 

_ Oh, for fuck’s sake Vex’ahlia, just kiss this stuck up, gorgeous specimen of a woman already, _ she told herself.  _ Less than ten hours ago she had you face down on the bed with three fingers inside of you. There’s no point in suddenly playing coy. _

And so she did. 

Zahra’s mouth tasted like toothpaste and Vex was suddenly quite aware of the undoubtedly awful mix of coffee and morning breath she was currently sporting. Zahra, however, didn’t seem to mind at all. She kissed Vex back softly, placing her hands delicately on her upper arms, tilting her head back. She was still leaning against the wall and Vex absently recognized how little effort it would take to press her own body against Zahra’s and pin her there with deeper kisses if she wanted too. And, gods, did she want to. Zahra’s mouth was warm and her lips were lush and anything but shy. For a moment they stood there together, exchanging long, gentle kisses before Zahra finally exhaled and pulled away slightly.

“Mmm, you’re going to be late, dear,” she murmured against Vex’s lips. She pushed a little on Vex’s arms to create some distance between them. “And I really would hate to see you fired on my account.”

Vex let out a sigh, noticing just how tightly she was crushing the lid of her coffee cup. “I suppose you’re right,” she said moving toward the apartment door. “I… We’ll be seeing more of each other soon, I’m sure.” She said, halfway between a question and a statement, as she opened the door to leave. A mere suggestion, really. One with many facets for many different interpretations. They could go back to their usual behavior, or maybe become closer friends, or even explore this new path of intimacy if they so decided. But whatever they chose, there would be no avoiding each other. Their lives and the lives of their closest friends had become much too entangled for that. 

That familiar, knowing smile graced Zahra’s lips once again. “Yes, I am quite sure of that as well.” She held the door open with a manicured hand as Vex walked out. “I will need those pants back sooner or later.” She said simply, and closed the door before Vex could counter her wit.

Vex found herself facing a ridiculously intricate brass knocker that resembled four dragons circling a hoop somewhat at a loss for words. If she pressed her ear next to it, she could hear the muffled footsteps of Zahra Hydris retreating back into her apartment. 

She couldn’t help but give the dragons an exasperated smile. Leave it to Zahra to counter her vague attempts at possibly reconnecting with a quip about borrowed clothes. 

_ 11:00 _ , read the screen of her phone as her precautionary alarm went off. Shit. There goes her shower time. Guess it would be changing into her work uniform and racing to catch the nearest uptown bus. But Vex found that the sense of urgency and panic she had woken up to had drained away somewhere in the past thirty minutes. She was still determined to make her shift, of course, but without the frenzy or rush that been driving her every movement. As she waited for the elevator to take her down to the street, Vex let herself bask in the relief of having just successfully navigated a tricky social encounter. Not to mention kissing probably the most attractive woman in a three hundred foot radius. It was a rather pleasant way to feel, she decided. 

Later that afternoon, after a successfully completed shift, Vex lay on the ratty couch in her and Vax’s apartment with Trinket’s head in her lap, half listening to her brother make a exhaustingly long phone call in the other room. As she ignored Vax’s hopeless and obvious pining through a conversation about trees or the nature of love or whatever with Keyleth, Vex pulled out her phone and began to type a message of her own. 

_ Last night was fun, _ it read,  _ thanks _ .

A little short, a little direct, perhaps, but it got the job done. She sent it to Zahra and turned off her phone to keep herself from anxiously checking for a response. 

This occasion, at least, Vex felt was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @technicolortidepods, if you feel so inclined


End file.
